For most people, the New Year brings excitement to start again. We set goals, that hopefully we will accomplish by the end of the year, and we make plans to be better than the year before. However, for those of us who are married, do we set goals for our marriage? Do we strive in the New Year to grow and be better in our marriage than the previous? I can honestly say this has never crossed my mind until this morning as I read a devotion Chris and I are doing for the month of January. I am not saying I don’t want my marriage to improve, and I don’t want to become the person God and my husband long for me to be. I just assumed if I prayed, eventually everything would work out in the end. However, for those who have been married a while, and have understood how to have a successful marriage, I am sure you would agree marriage takes work and we must be proactive!
Every January Chris and I do a 21 day fast – usually a Daniel fast unless God directs otherwise, which has been my case this year because of low blood sugar -, and we lift up the year, our marriage, finances, and seek God on what His will is for us. As I read the devotion on marriage, which we are doing over the course of this month, it discussed being naked in marriage. This wasn’t just talking about sexual intimacy – although that is important -, but being honest with your spouse and not allowing secrets to enter in. As I learned, secrets only lead to division in marriage – and let’s be honest in general -, and it causes us to drift from one another. We see this in individuals who participate in pornographic material, but it goes beyond that. Secrecy can be in the form of just about anything, harboring bitterness towards your spouse because of selfishness that is lying dormant in you; being selfish and self-centered in your love and affection towards your spouse; not making your spouse a priority; and a host of other things. In Genesis 2:18-25 we see God provides for man a helper, and in the amplified translation it actually says counterpart. How many of us women forget we are our husband’s counterpart? In a world of “me too” and imitation feminism – appears to be feminism but really just beats down men, and sends a message that women are the “better species” of the two genders -, we forget women and men are not in competition with one another, but counterparts.
So in the midst of all the goals and resolutions we set for 2019, let’s set some for our marriage. How about setting a realistic goal that says we will become naked – and fight to keep out secrecy -, grow closer, and move towards oneness in our marriage? How do we do this? First and foremost we check our relationship with our creator. I learned recently at a conference for couples if our relationship with God isn’t healthy, then neither will our marriage. Our priorities have to be in the right place; God first, our mate second, and then our children. If we are not spending quality time with our God, one on one, then we won’t know how to fully love and respect our spouse. If this seems a foriegn concept to you, or you do not have a personal relationship with God, then contact us and we will walk you through the process and answer any questions you might have.
Before I go, I want to pray over you for the year of 2019. I pray 2019 brings you closer to your creator – the Almighty Father who loves you -, closer to your mate, and brings blessings and miracles your way. I pray you grow in every area of your life, and as you draw closer to Jesus, you are able to see God move in your city, church, state, and nation. I pray that you will have countless stories to tell on December 31st 2019 of all God has done in and through you. And furthermore, I pray you not only meet the goals you set for yourself, but you are able to help others accomplish theirs. In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen!
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Until we speak again,