I have been silent lately with everything going on not out of ignorance or whatever you will have it, I simply have been silent because I knew when I did speak I wanted it to be both wise and through the filter of love. Today I will discuss my thoughts on the unrest in our country and where Chris and I stand with everything going on. If you do not wish to read today’s post – which I hope you do, especially if you are a part of the lighter skinned community as I am -, I will not be upset, I still love you no matter what. My goal today is to share my experience and thoughts on being a white American, my stance on the unrest in our world today, and how we can make an impact in our world, regardless of the color of our skin. I hope you stay all the way to the end, and I pray this brings a new light on racism on all sides, because it is time we stand up for what is right.
LIVING IN A DIVERSE COUNTRY WITH A UNIFORMED SOCIETY
Before you make any snap judgements or assumptions, I hope you will give me a chance to explain what life has been like for me. Now, I can’t speak for every white woman that was born and raised in America; unlike some people I have seen they share their experience and want you to think most people that look like them or were raised in a certain area are all the same, this however is not me! This is my story. Growing up we didn’t have a lot of money, and there were times we had to go to food banks for food because my parents worked minimum wage jobs and couldn’t exactly go to their family for help. I lived close enough to my mom’s mom where I would visit there often and even though there was tension between my mom and step dad and my grandparents(mom’s parents), I was loved, cared for, and always had my basic needs met. However, even though I was basically raised by my grandparents, yet lived primarily with my parents, that doesn’t mean life was a walk in the park. I struggled with low – self esteem due to being bullied at church, sometimes at school – up until my mom pulled me out after second grade so she could “homeschool me” – and through snide comments aka joking from certain family members. I also formed some anxiety due to tension at home and other things for which I will not discuss here. Again, my life wasn’t a disaster, but it wasn’t as great as most people would assume when they say me at church and such.
Attending school as a single white woman
Since I was homeschooled from third grade until I was able to get my GED when I was 17/18, I became a bit anti-social yet still had a gift to gab if you know what I mean – in other words I had a hard time making friends, but when I did I usually talked their ear off because I didn’t have anyone to talk to. I also wasn’t as bright as most home schooled kids were because I basically had to teach myself after the 4th grade because my mom never took anything beside the basics in school. Therefore, I couldn’t get any scholarships when trying to go to school, and we couldn’t afford to shell out money either. The only way I would have been able to attend college was if I was an unwed mother, had darker skin, was an immigrant, or was related to someone that attended the school of my choosing. You might be thinking I’m lying, but look into it….even today white women are not given any scholarships unless they are good in sports, going into the medical field, or the reasons I listed above. I was never racist growing up even though my grandparents were and I tried everyday to get my grandma to see reason and that we were all made in God’s image – regardless of color. So basically what I am saying here is this; just because I am white doesn’t mean I have rich parents or are afforded privileges that some people are given. Life has always felt like a fight for me, and I always struggled to find joy, my purpose, and just be able to have nice things like others had. However – and I am not trying to get you to feel sorry for me -, my life has felt nothing but an uphill battle. Honestly the reason I am with Chris is because I realized he is an amazing man and he loved and cared for me selflessly, and his personality made me fall in love with him…we got married quick because I didn’t want to lose him since he was the one good thing that came into my life. Since being married life hasn’t been easy, but honestly it has gotten a little better because not only is Chris my husband, he is my best friend and safe refuge when things get heated with my parents, I have “bad days” with the anxiety, or I get frustrated with stuff going on in the world today. Next I want to talk about how Chris and I feel about the unrest going on in the world today.
The unrest in America
So where do Chris and I stand with everything going on in America right now? People are rioting in the streets – NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH PROTEST -, people blame cops and think we need to get rid of them, and the virus is making everyone a little loco. Well first of all, during the beginning of all the protest before it started getting out of hand, Chris and I decided to attend a PEACEFULL protest, and yes I put peaceful in all caps for a reason! It was good because we, and everyone there, safely protested that black lives do matter….just like everyone else, however there are some black lives that die because of brutality – not just by police, but we will get to that in a moment. The protest only lasted an hour in a half, and I feel it was very well done, nothing got out of hand and we never slammed the police, just let them know they should treat our black friends and family as if they would any other race. Since then I have been sickened by those who are claiming to protest when they are just being stupid, commiting crimes, and speaking hate against the police in American. The problem isn’t the police as a whole, the problem is when others get selfish, hungry for power, and angry to the point they bring harm to themselves and others. I have heard from many people in the black community who are angry with their fellow blacks and talk about how they are quick to bring judgement on the police, yet there are blacks killing blacks everyday and it goes unheard of. Where is the justice for them? Just the other day I heard of a little girl who got killed because of some thugs driving by and shooting up a house because of something drug related or gang affiliation. I ask you, Where is the justice for this little girl? There were no police involved in that, it was another black person and his fellow gang members killing other people that had the same skin tone as them. You may be upset with what I say, but use some common sense and really look at what I am saying.
So where do Chris and I stand? We have black friends, my mentor and her family are black, and my bff who passed – which I am still really good friends with her sister and mother -, was black. I might see someone’s skin tone, but I only define people by their character and whether they use common sense or not. You know, I have said this in the past; and who knows, I might get this on a shirt; The only people I hate are stupid people – people who don’t use common sense and only think of themselves. To say I am racist, is to say say someone who is deaf is just plain stupid and refuses to hear…It is an oxymoron. We also have been getting fed up with people taking down monuments because they may or may be racist; I mean Christopher Columbus really??!!! The man was Spanish and he had nothing to do with those coming from Africa or those born in America that were slaves. But I digress.. I told Chris this the other day; You know, instead of tearing down the monuments and getting rid of the confederate flag, why don’t we use it as a learning moment to tell our future generation how far we have come or what we can learn from our past mistakes?? Also, I believe there was a saying once, “If you don’t learn from your past you are doomed to repeat it.” I feel like we are doomed because of people trying to flip the tables and “make white people see what it was like for the slaves back in the day” And yes I actually heard someone say that once. I am upset at the bigots and hateful people back in the day who mistreated others and made slaves out of people of color. However, I didn’t do it, and not all whites felt that way. So please quit lumping me in the category as those people.
Where do we go from here?
So where do we go from here as Americans? I think first, we need to look up. The only way we can overcome diversity is to ask God to cleanse us from this hatred and bigotry and help us see through his eyes. Unless we do this, the problem is only going to get worse. Second, we need to stop taking down all the monuments and confederate flags. All that does is hide what happened in history, and as we already discussed it will be our downfall. Finally, we need to come together peacefully, and discuss how we can be better and see each other through the eyes of love. This is basically like my first point about seeing through God’s eyes because honestly if you are seeing through his eyes you don’t see color as an opposition or as something to hate, you see it as an artist looking upon a beautiful masterpiece. We need to stop picking apart what is wrong with people and begin embracing others differences, and for the love of God quit listening to the media and Hollywood, they literally get paid to spread hate and division!!!! The way we get through this pandemic and make an impact in the world around us is to embrace one another and walk in love, grace, mercy, and peace with others regardless of their race, ethnicity, or whether they are male/female.
In closing, I shared a bit about my life and how it wasn’t easy just because I am white. I also shared mine and Chris’ thoughts on the unrest in our country and how we can learn to make an impact in our world through love and embracing everyone’s true identity regardless of where they came from or how different they look to us. I hope you enjoyed this article. If you did leave a comment below – no disrespect or your comment will get deleted -, and don’t forget to like and subscribe to the blog so you can receive notifications of when a new article is up.
Be kind, be loving, be safe,